Today I got on MUNI to head over to the chiropractor. The previous bus had pulled away just as I ran up to the door, as they like to do, and I’d waited around for another bus. I figured I wouldn’t be that late. At Division I saw a crazy bum at the bus stop. He had a bone tied to his head. A sinewy dirty animal bone streaked with the remnants of meat and blood. It was tied to his head. I would guess it was a pig femur.
My first thought when I saw this guy was to beg the universe not to let him get on the bus I was on. No luck. He was getting on. I moved back and tried to look away. He pushed his way through the crowd with his sign and his meaty bone. It was tied to the right side of his head in the style a flapper might wear a feather. Except instead of a feather, it was a MEATY SINEWY BONE… and it was TIED TO HIS HEAD.
I closed my eyes and held my breath and let him squeeze past behind me. Then I moved the other direction. Everyone near the man with the bone tied to his head pretended they didn’t see the bone and after a group eyebrow raise and revulsion shiver, just ignored him with all of their might. Everyone that was at least half a bus away however, was craning their necks and bugging their eyes at the man with the bone tied to his head.
I got off the bus and took a cab.