A great debate rages on.

Whose side are you on? Are you swayed by the advertising thatreaches far across the earth? Going with what's cool today anddropping it tomorrow for the next available fad. Or do you standfirm, content to live life as you have always, stable andunchanging. (Do you ever change?) It's the ultimate question,plaguing man's existence forgenerations past, and sure to give grief to the sons of your children...

boxersor briefs?

To confuse things further, there's the increasinglypopular boxer-brief (June's fave).Do we even know what category this belongs to? Both?Neither? Is it an entirely new genus all together?

I say it is. Why choose one or the other when you can have it all?

Yes, men have it easy, an all-in-one deal. But what aboutus women? We still have to deal with those thong things.I mean, please, does anyone want to wear those?

Dear Al,
In your photograph, you kinda look like a transvestite. Are you?
Not judgmental, just curious.

I am woman. Hear me roar.

Dear Allison,
This is about sex. I've been married three years, and my husbandis always pressuring me for more sex. Really, is that allmen care about?
Signed, sweet p

C'mon, sweet pea. Don't you realize there are plenty ofwomen who would kill to be in your predicament? But since you don't appreciate it, here's what you do: Nexttime your virile hubby asks for some, you just tell him: "Goask Allison."

Hey Allison,
Looks like my message really got to you :). Now read itagain, read your sass, read some of your "answers." Thenthink ... think ... think.... Then clean up your desk andleave your office. For me.
Signed, Sassy

Dear Sassy,
You have written before? And now you have taken the time towrite again. Obviously, though you say you want me toleave, to stop, to abandon my post, something draws youhere. The more you return to whine, themore hit counts I get. So keep 'emcoming, sweetheart, or, if you'd like to phone in yourcomplaints, you can call 555-SHOVE IT up your ass.

Dear Allison,
I'm in love with a girl half my age. I am 31! She really,really loves me. Is this OK?
Signed, dooie

Dooie,
I have never met a 15-year-old who was truly in love.Don't ask me if it's OK, ask her parents. I'm sure they'llbe thrilled. I also wouldn't rule out getting some psychological or legal aid.

Dear Allison,
Just the other day the most interesting thing happened tome. I was in a local Washington, DC, bar (Quigleys), and thisreally beautiful girl was at the bar. I was sitting with mytwo friends who are engaged. Playing it solo, I went upto her and in true "Rugged-American" style, I asked thebartender to get her a drink. As he proceeded to do so, Iturned, flashed a charming smile, and said "Hey, that's areal nice belt, wanna screw?" She declined and left thearea. My question is, Does the bar still have the right tocharge me for the drink? And if so, do I still have to giveit to her?
Yahtzee, Jay de Piggot

Dear Yahtzee Jay,
Most women, contrary to popular belief, are not impressed bybelt flattery. Although her belt may indeed have been lovely, you'll usuallyhave better luck complimenting the eyesor smile. However, with your tactics, I'd suggest going to a bar witha seedier clientele, and saying something like "Nice ass,wanna screw?" It may costyou more than a drink would, but you won't have to gohome alone.

Dearest Allison,
I've dated older guys and younger guys, yuppie-scum andcuddly unemployed artists. Nice guys, mean guys, regularguys, and freaks. I'm left wondering this: Why do guys likehanging out, having fun, and sleeping together, but as soon asthe situation gets to the "relationship" stage they all runscreaming! I never even utter the word relationship, it'slike a cuss word now! Gimme the straight dope, sassy one.All I can say is, it ain't my breath.
Denny

Denny,
It doesn't hurt to follow a strict dentalregimen just in case. I must say that I've noticed asimilar trend in my own life, though I too practice gooddentalhygiene. From now on, I'd try to stay away from anyonefor whom the word scum fits as a personal describer (samegoes for unemployed and mean). And if it isn't your breath, perhaps your body odor is offensive. You may want to try anew deodorant.

Signed:
Go answer the questions Allison didn't.