Week 48 of 1995

Dear Allison:

What does it mean to "bruise" a martini?

And what does the choice of garnish say about a person?
Signed, With a Twist

Well, I certainly don't care. Do you?

Does Dave Winer pay HotWired for space to publish his infomercialesque column devoted to advertising his software? Or is he sleeping with a primary shareholder in your company?
Signed, Curious on 6th Ave & 18th St.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, here's a serious question:How did you get the Andy Warhol banana (overin your VU section) to peel itself like that?
Signed, N_Coffee

Well, I certainly don't care. Do you?

Dear Allison, Could you please tell me how to access the talk groups on the internet?
Signed, wannabe hacker

I haven't answered this question, but you can.

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Signed, Debbie

BFD, pal, maybe somebody else cares.

Dear Allison,if I put a question on here today, how soon will you answer it, and what authority/qualifications do you have to answer my questions???kit
Signed, Anonymous

BFD, pal, maybe somebody else cares.

Why is it that the last episode of Jimmy Corrigan has been sitting in Serial for the last couple ofmonths, but The Donor Party got yanked from Kinobefore I even got a chance to log in to grab thelast episode?
Signed, Concerned at 6th Ave & 18th St

Well, I certainly don't care. Do you?

Dear Allison,I just love your hair color dahhhhling, is it natural or colored? If it's colored you just have to tell me what it's colored with babe! Always remember honey, you're ab fab and don't let anyone ese tell you otherwise! Chow!
Signed, Glam queen

I haven't answered this question, but you can.

dear Allison,HELP ME... THEY'RE REVOLTING. THE COWS AREREVOLTING!!!! RUN, RUN, RUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!just another lost soul in New Hampshire.
Signed, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob

BFD, pal, maybe somebody else cares.

Dear Allison: Last May Nancy and I were staying at a swank hotel in Montreal called Hotel Vogue and had a breakfast drink/cereal called Budwig that is apparently an eponymous high energy drink for over-achievers. We cannot locate a recipe and have been told that this tonic faded from the scene in the early 80s. Can you add to our data on this brew?
Signed, Budwig Wannabe

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hiya Allison. How was Ecuador? Did I spell itright? A bit of advice: before you visit, makesure Matt will be here and not in Berkeley again.So anyway, my question is: How much MagnesiumStearate is in a "Fresh Mints" Tic Tac?
Signed, Bogie & Becall

Well, I certainly don't care. Do you?

I'm really feeling lonely. I've been in collegefor two months now and I have many casual friendsbut instead I'd like to have one close friend.
Signed, Searchin for a soul mate

BFD, pal, maybe somebody else cares.

Dear Alison, Why do I sneeze when I orgasm?
Signed, Sneezy

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bandwidth, Bandwidth, Bandwidth. EDO SRAM, T-3, ATM, look aside cache. I'm scared Allison. Everyone is fighting for bandwidth, but seems to have forgotten latency. Will we become a world obsessed with message, forgetting timing, or is the inverse of time really non-zero?
Signed, Geekboy.

I haven't answered this question, but you can.

Dear Allison: I have heard from TV news that American scientist has cloned the aging gene and might be able to extend ~30 years of life time. However I could not find the published report yet. Can you find out the real information in more detail?
Signed, bleasd

Well, I certainly don't care. Do you?

hey allison..at my school we are censored beyond belief. we cant havehair thats not in "the normal hair color spectrum",wear hats,or wear shorts shorter than the tip of ourfingers when we put our hands down(not that i want to, but i wouldntmind if some of the grrls could).I tried writing anarticle in the school paper, the school boardignored it.what should i do??
Signed, hatless with brown hair

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dear Allison,Why are your backgrounds so hideously beautiful? You must have exceptional taste.
Signed, Turquoise and Hot Pink Plaid

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Will VIP Hotwired start asking demographic questions about its subscribers? If so, will this be used to sell advertisers? Will you publish this data for VIP members to review?
Signed, vasilikj (John Vasilik)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ummm... I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing (pick the Pet Shop Boys lyric) but I'm at a crisis.A friend (well, maybe...) posed me this question at a party last night:"If your car could travel at the speed of light, would the headlights still work?"It's now 3am and I'm still spun-out...
Signed, Einstein (NOT!)

BFD, pal, maybe somebody else cares.

Dear Allison,For the love of Mike, please tell me why girls are such rejection junkies?They are NEVER interested in the kind and decent interested guy.They cry and moan for the bastard that doesn't call back or notice them.
Signed, Single on South Beach

Well, I certainly don't care. Do you?