The holidays areover. It's back to the routine. Paper or plastic? The days of high-spirited chivalryare waning. No one bothers to opendoors for you "girls" as the NorthAmerican winter wind bites at yourfour-inch heels. Ah, the returnof the mundane. Paper or plastic? You can tell vacation is over when allyour old lovers come back to town,but you still can't get anyone to ask you on a date, not to mention just a littleaction, if only to chase away the remnants of the holiday blues. In fact all you can get anyone to ask you is:
Paper or plastic? Damn, am I glad I ain't you!
The days of You can tell In fact all you can get anyone to ask you is: Damn, am I glad I ain't you!
Dear Allison, Could you check mymath for me? I was wondering if instead of giving 30 percent of what we make to thegovernment, we gave just 10 percent. Then, we gave 10 percent of what we made to whomever on thestreet we wanted, just in case they were hungry. Could we party with the other10 percent and have people still be happy?
Nobody
Well, there is more you can do! And you can do it NOW!
Speaking of greed,you might not be immune to it yourself ... "Well, I helped that hungry guy lasttime, so this time I'm spending the whole 20 percent on me!" Do that once, and beforeyou know it, you're an asshole. Ifthat makes you happy, well, then, it's already too late. Dear Allison,
Obviously you feelthe same way as the majority of us do. I, for one, can't even think of tellingsomeone else what they can and can't do. I have just read a whole bunch of thematerials in the Communications Decency Act site and don't believe what I'mreading. They are trying to tell me that I can't enjoy you bashing us guys!! NowI'm sure that some of us guys don't appreciate this, but I love it. One of themost disgusting things about it is the fact that the people pushing for thecensorship are the ones who never touch the Internet! My question to you is this:how am I going to enjoy your male bashing and radical thoughts if they do this?We have to find a way.
Perturbed and disturbed 
Yes, indeed. It would be a horrible thing if all you boys were unable to be publicly Dear Allison,
Why can't my bossbe more like you, a liberated, tell-it-like-it-is, straight-up professionalbitch? It's more than refreshing to see a woman in a high-profile (albeit avirtual one) position who isn't afraid of breaking "corporate etiquette."Sometimes I find it somewhat tenuous to talk to women in the office; mywords/actions might be misconceived or misinterpreted. How do you get along withyour male counterparts in the workplace anyway? Are they threatened by you? HAPPYHAPPY HOLIDAYS ALLIE BABY!!!
cyberspace cowboy (yee haaaaa!)
Are youkidding? Your female bosses start acting like bitches, and you'll be complaininglouder and faster than thunder and lightning to Dear Allison,
Actually, quite alot of kids around 12 and stuff visit this page and understand it. However, wewatch your page because we understand it and want to hear that stuff. If wedidn't like the page, we wouldn't watch it.
lara 
Icertainly wouldn't want any 12-year-olds growing up thinking it's cool that womenare displayed as objects to lease or own - as they are represented on many of the pages outthere. You've got to know who you are before you can let somebody fuck with whatyou've got. Dear Allison,
Happy New Year(fuck Christmas, but Merry Christmas, too - if you're into it).
I got anotherdepressive Q for you.
Could you be so kind as to activate yourexpertise re: the problem of socializing?
I don't sit home, I go to clubsalmost every day. But I'm all alone and see no chance to find any company.Because I see how people meet there: friends introduce their friends to eachother.
Grrreat, but I got no friend whatsoever. What am I supposed to do? I'msitting there all alone talking to no one, watching the show. There's no way totalk to anyone without being introduced first. I'm too shy.
What to do? I'mgoing crazy being alone. Are other people so self-sufficient they won't talkto me first?
Soliton Dude. Youhave to talk to someone. It's downright painful imagining you sitting there, looking 
Dear Allison,
Where do I findnude images on your site?
Anonymous
Fuck off. Dear Allison,
Ya know, I get sofucking tired of these troglodytes that have to use the word "fuck" and "fucking"to make a statement or prove a point. I mean, what the fuck? Has the latestquasi-adult population of this fucking nation reduced the American language to afew verbs, adverbs, and adjectives? Description of experience is phrased as "cool"or "it sucked" or "fucked-up." Granted, we made some progress in getting away from"gnarly," but I think the whole fucking situation really sucks. Wouldn't it becool if potential intelligence and potential language usage were plateaus tostrive toward? Whattya think? PS - More nudity is always a good thing.
-bannedrex Bannedrex, I totallyfucking agree. You are the shit. 
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