Contest update: don't forget, you still have a few more weeks to enter. Noone's been too terribly swanky yet, but some have been pretty hilarious (if you're usingNetscape 1.1, that is). Keep in mind now, I'm looking for swank individuals, not corporations (unless they're really super swank,of course). Let's take another look at the officialrules.

Lately I've been planning my vacation ... so you may noticethat your questions aren't answered in quite so timely a manner for the next weekor so, but never fear. If I don't answer this time, put it into the form again and have another go.

Some people are already a bit overly persistent, maybe even fanatical about the use of thelovely ask form. But I mean, come on ... If I reallythought anyone wanted to hear my answer to the woodchuckquestion I would have answered it the first time ... or the second time. The factthat I addressed it anywhere at all, even on the leftovers page was pushing it. The last time was asubtle plea for you to shut the hell up.

I guess it worked ... there've been no more questions regarding woodchucks lately.

Dear Allison,
Recently, a fairly good friendof mine got dumped by his girlfriend of two years. He was devastated, and I triedto be there for him. A couple of days ago he asked me straight out if I wouldsleep with him. I (thinking he was kidding) laughed and didn't answer. A coupledays later he asked me again, this time saying that he promised he would nevertell my boyfriend who's away right now. I didn't answer, thinking he'd get thehint. Soon after that he asked me again, telling me this time that all I had todo was have sex with him, no foreplay, no nothing, I didn't even have to kiss himif I didn't want to. I told him he was crazy for asking, and I wouldn't want tohave sex like that anyway. Now he's putting me on a guilt trip, saying if I caredabout him, I'd sleep with him. Should I do it? Or how can I convince him thatsince we are friends that sleeping together would just not be cool?
Pressured

Lend him $50 and tell him to get a hooker, if all he wants issex. Friends respect eachother. And he doesn't sound like much of a friend.

Dear Allison,
Do you fuck like a pig? Do you do it in the ass? Do ya need it really big? Do youdo it without class?
Phil Latio

Dear Phil, I don't do anythingwithout class. How rude ofyou to even insinuate such an idea. Never like a pig. Menare pigs (you may remembermy mentioning that before) ... women are sublime.

Dear Allison,
What's the best way to show you really care about someone during sex, withoutsaying I love you?
Curious

You can do it with a look, or a touch I suppose ... I'd stay away from sayingthings other than I love you. The "oh yeah, baby, oh baby," technique works on onlya very few, and screaming out someone else's name by accident is a definite no-no. Youmight try a simple, You're beautiful. Afterwards, lots of hugging is good, none of that rolling off and falling asleep crap.

Dear Allison,
I know someone who considers you his new "Net lust." Do you want to know hisemail address?
Yenta

No.

Dear Allison,
Cocktails. Well it seems to methat they don't get the respect they used to 'cause people just don't care aboutthe same things that the Olivier and the Cooper generation did. I think youasked us out here in reader-world a question of your own: what happened to stylefor style's sake? Well, I offer my own personal answer (not that you asked) ...Too many beer commercials. Yep. That's it. In a nutshell anyway. Not that itmatters 'cause I'm under 21 anyway. And so my question to you is: Would I be coolif I drank martinis rather than Miller? I mean, would that make me more of anadventurous, swank, dignified, dashing, seductive, stately, stylish, debauchee?And would that be better? I await your reply, wise one.
Bogie

Yes, indeed. You would be more stylish if youdrank martinis rather thanMiller. It would make youmore swanky by about a thousand percent. That's not to say there isn't some good beer out there. There is. And that's not to say that ifyou drank vodkafrom a plastic bottle, you'd still be swank, but on the whole, if you were tomeasure cocktails against some cheap college beer, cocktails would win. Handsdown.

Dear Allison,
The front cover of the October95 issue of Wired has a Hebrew inscription on it. Being a Hebrew speaker,this caught my attention. Unfortunately, I don't have a clue as to what it'ssupposed to mean ... could you enlighten me on that one ? Thanks, Amnon.
maxlong

It says "Get Wired." You'll notice the covers ofWired always have some inscription in another tongue, and if you were in theknow, you'd know that every one says "Get Wired."

Signed:

Go answer the questions Allison didn't.