I've been noticing lately that there just aren't very many women engineers out there.It's such a shame. Think about what incredible balance women could provide toour little expanding world community on the Web.

Who's responsible, anyway? I suppose it could have something to do with allthose ignorant highschool counselors out there. I remember a particularly sorry specimen namedMr. Armor (I think). He's the one who told me I was uncompetitive, unmotivated,and lacked goals. Well, I sure hate to say it, Mister, but look at me now. Wouldan uncompetitive woman wear eyelashes? Would an unmotivated gal get her owncolumn in the premiere Net site of the digital revolution? Would someonewith no goals have quiet dreams of world domination? I think not.

Then there was that other counselor who discouraged my interest in science. Gee, what washis name? The one who told me that girls didn't need physics and that choir was a much better way to spendfourth period of my senior year. Yeah, that sure helped.

But forget blame. Girls: listen. There is a need for you there in that world ofnumbers and code strings, bits and bytes. We need you, we need that balance, andeveryone knows that women are the smarter ones anyway.

Oh, and don't forget my contest. Not too manywomen have entered that, either!

Dear Allison,
When will you put up some racyimages of yourself? Why haven't you already done it?
owensby@ix.netcom.com

Because I don't want losers like you lookin' atme. That's why.

Dear Allison,
Why are boys such goofballs all thetime? Why do they think they have to be groovy like Greg Brady and only dig girlswith barely ass-covering skirts, baby doll T-shirts, and nasty big brown clunkyshoes? Ugh, Ugh, Ugh! I don't want to be ...
Marcia Brady

Marcia, Marcia,Marcia ... it's always Marcia, Marcia,Marcia!
Look, Jan, baby, theproblem is you have to stop going for Gregs ... sometimes yougotta settle for a Charlie or two.

Dear Allison,
I want to be like you and getpaid for doing nothing. Who did you sleep with (and how often) to get your job?
Lazy Susan

Ah, Susan. If only it werethat easy ... hell, if only Iwere that easy, it woulda been awhole hell of a lot easier to get where I am today!

Dear Allison,
Hey, if your brother doesn'twant the random HotWired and Wired paraphernalia can I have it?
Rodimus

Well, gee. I think you'd have to ask him about that ... but inreality, I'm pretty sure he appreciates the gifts ...he's just a smartass. (It runs in the family.)

Dear Allison,
Do all the posts about how goodyou look upset you? I haven't seen your picture (stuck in LYNX Web browser :( ).I think it is rather pathetic to just out and out ask someone "You look good,will you go out with me?"
Rat

Please. Yourname is Rat. Whythe hell would I go out with a guy named rat? Iwouldn't. And why would I date someone who only had lynx? My pictures are very important to me ...even the ones online.

Dear Allison,
What do you see are the relativeadvantages to doing an online advice column vs. a more traditional format, likepaper magazines? I would think that dealing with the geeks/testosterone-headswould suck. (Or maybe you're just having fun at our expense?)
snailmail

Well it looks like you answered your own questionthere, didn't ya?

Dear Allison,
Are you sassy in real life?Also, how did hippies get the flowers in their hair? (Did it grow out of theirheads or something?) They keep falling out when I try.
Flower-girl

Apparently, or at least according to friends(such as the infamous Sass-O-Meter), I am often sassyin real life. But hey, we all have our moments.
You have to stop washing your hair if you want to be ahippie ... the grease that flows naturally outof your head will act as a sort of glueto keep the stem of the flowerbehind your ear. Choose the longest stems - and the lightest flowers - for thebest results.

Signed:
Go answer thequestions Allison didn't.